Mars and Venus

Some years ago an incident happened that I will never forget. I was engaged in an intense emotional exchange with a man. Back then, I was still suffering from depression, which I suffered from all my life up until a few years ago. This contributed considerably to the situation I was in at the time. I was emotionally needy and seeking solace from my friend. I didn't realise that what I was seeking from him he could never give me. I realised years later that only Baha'u'llah could give it to me.

When I had pushed my friend to his limit with my demands, he finally resorted to the Mars and Venus argument. He said that women and men were different creatures in that women experienced emotions and needed to talk about them. He said that men were different; in fact, he wondered whether men actually had emotions at all. When I heard this, I was shaken to my very foundations. I stopped the conversation at that point; I felt that his comment had destroyed all possibility of us having a meaningful relationship. If his words were true, it was impossible for me to share my inner universe with him. It meant that any relationship we could have had would have been superficial for me.

Now I accept that I was badly caught up in my own emotional circles and that there was little he could do. I am sorry now that I put him in that position. But even with that aside, I still feel that the exchange was tragic. Because I still do have my inner colourful universe of experience, albeit without the angst, but he still believes that men do not have emotions. My father had similar ideas. He would have believed himself to be in control of his emotions. He achieved this by showing just one emotion -- anger. The truth is, he was full of emotions. Look at me, I am his daughter! :-) His belief about being in control of his emotions simply meant that he never showed affection, that's all.

You're probably wondering why on earth I'm telling you this. The reason is to give some background to why the Tablet of the Houri is important to me. Amongst other things, it gives us a window in on male and female relationships in the divine world. These relationships are an archetype of how things might be on the earthly plane. I expect in the future volumes will be written on this subject. But for now, all I am trying to say is that there is no way Baha'u'llah is devoid of emotion and the ability to show it, including affection. The idea is preposterous. All of Baha'u'llah's writings are full of emotion. Baha'u'llah experiences so much emotion he is a shadow of his real self. The houri expresses unbounded emotion about Baha'u'llah's circumstances and he is overwhelmed by the love she expresses for him.

In light of this, I have an ongoing sense of sadness when I think about the interaction I had with my friend. We were never going to share anything of what Baha'u'llah and the houri show us to be possible for intimate relationships.


18-minute MP3 audio of Mark reading the Tablet of the Houri

The text for the Tablet of the Houri is at

My introduction to the tablet is here.

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