Items ranging from the gently ironic to the satirical

Proven innocent - but still guilty

Inder Manocha

There’s only one way to deal with busybodies trying to help young people become good citizens. Throw them in prison. Comedian Inder Manocha casts a wry look at the situation of Iran’s largest non-Muslim religious minority, the Baha’is:

At a time when youth crime is on the rise and images of young people wielding weapons in the name of yet another cause are commonplace on our television screens, any group of people attempting to promote the opposite trend is worthy of attention.

There is only one fitting way to acknowledge the efforts of such individuals: jail them. Such people cannot be trusted; especially if they belong to some dangerous, deviant religious movement that espouses equality and tolerance. Thank heavens then for the Justice Administration of Shiraz in the Islamic Republic of Iran. They can spot a deviant a mile off.

{josquote}Thank heavens then for the Justice Administration of Shiraz in the Islamic Republic of Iran. They can spot a deviant a mile off.{/josquote}

In May 2006, fifty-three young followers of the Baha’i faith were arrested on the grounds of indirectly teaching their religion under the guise of a social service project for underprivileged children in Shiraz and the surrounding localities in the south of Iran, aimed at developing the moral values, literacy levels and hygiene standards of these young people. Three of the Baha’is were incarcerated in November 2007, having been sentenced to four years’ imprisonment. So far, so good.

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The Greatest Length

It’s 10.30pm, three hours before my flight leaves from Ben Gurion Airport and I’m waiting in the longest EL AL queue ever…I am stopped by the rather aggressive Israeli red head security guard who doesn’t look a day over 20 but whose tone is of a 50 year old body builder.

‘Yes. Hello’ she forces a smile at me

‘Hi’ I am nervous already. Why is that? I’m not about to smuggle drugs out the country or hide a bomb in my suitcase, but I start to feel like I am guilty just by her attitude to me…

‘So can I see your ticket?’

{josquote}‘Just think of it as a really bad massage,’ says the female security guard searching me...{/josquote}

Problem number one.

‘Well, you see, it’s an e-ticket and I can’t find the bit of paper anywhere.’

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Omid Djalili WAMA

We are Most Amused ITV1

Omid Djalili introduced by John Cleese


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Rapid Character Investigation

A few months ago a copy of the Understanding Single Baha'is report came our way and we read it with keen interest. It appears that the friends across the pond are far more innovative when it comes to the types of research they conduct.

Shortly thereafter it came to our attention that this initiative had grown and developed and was now testing a new approach which sounded very similar to speed dating. We received first hand information that a “rapid character investigation” session would be held at the ABS in San Diego. We knew we could not miss this chance!

Ready and full of excitement our video team lead by Benny Cassette, the ultimate moderator, embarked on a trip to participate in this unusual but highly innovative happening. Upon our arrival we were informed that the session was fully booked out and that we would not be granted entrance to document this historic moment. What???? We came all this way only to be met by closed doors. Whaaaaaaaa.

After regaining our composure we decided to visit the hotel lobby and acquire reports from participants of the session and others that were enjoying the conference and meeting “old friends”.


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