The Faith is my life
- Details
- Category: The Subject of Boys
- Created: Tuesday, 03 December 2013 03:21
- Published: Tuesday, 03 December 2013 03:16
- Written by DV, Gay/Lesbian Baha'i Story Project
- Hits: 1231
I was born and raised in a Bahai family in Malaysia. I am a 3rd generation Bahai. I realized that I was different when I was about 13 years old. When I found out that I was attracted to someone of the same sex, my whole world came crashing down. I was devastated and heartbroken because I couldnt accept the fact. I was scared. I grew up believing that homosexuality was a disease and can be cured.
{josquote}I concluded that God created me the way I am and He loves me for who I am. I accepted myself.{/josquote}Every day I prayed and asked God to make me normal. He seemed to answer all my other prayers except this one. I became confused. I cried a lot, sometimes crying myself to sleep. I asked God why me? but He never told me the reason. I had nowhere to turn or talk to.
Malaysia is multiracial and multi-religious nation. Homosexuality is deemed as a sin and punishable by law. People dont discuss about homosexuality because its considered a taboo. This didnt help me. I felt alienated. I felt disgusted with myself. I became severely depressed and even thought of ending my life a couple of times. The burden was just too heavy to carry.