Unnatural acts

HSunburnt Caucasianomo sapiens emerged out of Africa. As the species spread, some populations became afflicted with abhorrent conditions such as light skin colouring. Today, billions of people have this aberration. We must turn off the gene that causes pale skin, so that people no longer need to “cover up”. Pastiness is highly condemned and often a great trial and cause of suffering to a person. Remember, there are no legitimate ways in which a Caucasian can express the wayward impulses of the sunbathing instinct.

As for those now afflicted, a Caucasian does not decide to be a problem human, but he does have decision in choosing his way of life, i.e. abstaining from sunbathing acts.

Love the Caucasian, hate the flagrant sunseeker.

We support human rights for all people we approve of

gratuitous image stolen from an unrelated websiteThe Bahais of Springfield, Missouri, have just responded to a questionaire from the city’s task force on sexual orientation and gender identity. Here are the questions, and the Assembly’s responses:

  1. Do you agree that the Springfield City Code should be amended to add sexual orientation and gender identity to the city’s nondiscrimination ordinance? No
  2. Would your answer reflect the majority of members in your congregation? Yes
  3. If the task force finds that there is discrimination based on sexual orientation and/or gender identity in housing, employment, and/or public accommodations in Springfield, would you support adding sexual orientation and gender identity to the city’s nondiscrimination ordinance? No
  4. Would your answer reflect the majority of members in your congregation? Yes


Yet in 2011 the Bahais of Springfield presumably got the following advice from the House, via the US NSA:

In attempting to reconcile what may appear to be conflicting obligations, it is important to understand that the Bahá’í community does not seek to impose its values on others, nor does it pass judgment on others on the basis of its own moral standards. It does not see itself as one among competing social groups and organizations, each vying to establish its particular social agenda. In working for social justice, Bahá’ís must inevitably distinguish between those dimensions of public issues that are in keeping with the Bahá’í Teachings, which they can actively support, and those that are not, which they would neither promote nor necessarily oppose. In connection with issues of concern to homosexuals, the former would be freedom from discrimination and the latter the opportunity for civil marriage. Such distinctions are unavoidable when addressing any social issue. For example, Bahá’ís actively work for the establishment of world peace but, in the process, do not engage in partisan political activities directed against particular governments.

As Bryan Donaldson over at Baha’i Coherence puts it:

The prominent reference here is that with regards to homosexuals, “freedom from discrimination” can be actively supported…

It’s a bit like the Islamic Republic of Iran, which seems to support human rights only for those people it approves. The Springfield Assembly needs to show that the Bahais are above that.

You will be assimilated

Keith Farnan poster detail“We welcome everyone”

“Except gays”

“Oh no. We welcome gays… …except as members”

“And obese people.”

“No, I’m sure that’s not right.”

“Well, I read a blog entry where…”

“Oh yes, I read that too. But we do welcome obese people who want to be thin.”

“Yeah, we welcome everyone, But you’ve got to want to be straight, and thin…”

“…and apolitical, and…”

“This is getting complicated. How about: ‘We welcome everyone, but you’ve got to want to be just like us.'”

“That’s right, and we call it ‘unity in diversity'”

“Yes, we take diversity and turn it into unity.”